I miss it.

I miss the runs.  I miss the Wednesday night and Saturday mornings appointments.  And sure, some days I didn’t feel like going, I hoped for rain, I wanted to sleep longer, or I even had a terrible run.  Now that I’m in a place where I have no one to run with, I ache for those days.  The days I had a choice to run with friends.

Remember how I ran not one but TWO marathons last year?  Within 3 weeks of each other?  And I promised myself I wouldn’t lose the endurance.

And sure, injury got in the way, but I still could run double digits – and that was only a couple of months ago.

Where has that person gone?  I struggled on the one 5k I ran here in Manila getting a personal worst.  I ran two half marathons earlier this year, and though they weren’t my best times, I was still capable of running them. 

Now?  I don’t think I could run 13.1 miles non-stop again. 

How does one get out of a rut?  Going out and running on my own is not working:  it’s too easy to make up excuses.  Plus, it’s not like I’m training for anything (and it’s not like here you sign up for races months ahead of time so you have a goal to work for – nope, here is at most a month before).

My attempts to find a running group near me have failed.  Even the big running forum here, where I was hoping to post and find someone to run with, doesn’t approve my registration, weeks after registering, so I can’t even try to post. 

Every day that passes I’m in worse shape than I was the week before.

And it’s not solely the run that I’ve been missing, it’s never all about that is it?  It’s the camaraderie.  The chit-chat.  The conversations.  The gossip.  The way of getting updates on my friends’ lives.  The laughs.  All during our runs.

Running on my own is not nearly as exciting or as interesting.

I’m left to run on my own and I don’t like it.  So I don’t do it.

Those who run solely by yourselves, now HOW do you do it?  How do you get out there and just run?  It was one thing to do it during my commute home, when I knew that it was only one day, I would have company for the other runs, but everyday?  How do you even keep motivated?


Filed under Manila, Runs

19 responses to “I miss it.

  1. Valerie

    I definitely feel your pain about not being in the running groove since moving overseas. I actually dropped out of a 5K fun run at the halfway point because it was so hot and I didn’t feel like being dehydrated the rest of the day. I’ve decided to move my training indoors for the most part. If I can’t be outside with other people, I’d rather be indoors on the treadmill where I can distract myself with music or tv. Hopefully you’ll get back into a routine when your treadmill arrives.

  2. Frances

    Hang in there Carla! Here’s how I do it…. First, I started running to music. I got excited to build my iPhone with lots of good running songs with beats at my pace. Then I am psyched to try out the new songs. If that doesn’t work, I rely on trickery. I tell myself I will just go out for a walk. That lowers the psychological barrier to getting out the door. Lots of times, once I’m out I feel good and want to run! I’ve got a Runner friend headed to Manila soon. Maybe I can hook you guys up. It takes time to build your running network up again – maybe try posting signs around your complex and see if there is any interest! Good luck Carla!

    • Thanks, Frances! I already started running with music, but that hasn’t convinced me to go out for a run yet… I like the “let me just walk” idea. I walk everywhere here, but usually go in sundress and flipflops. I should put my workout clothes and shoes on, and walk that way, so at least I’ll have the option!

      Yes, hook me up with your friend for sure! Is s/he moving here or just coming on a trip? Either way, I’m up for it!

  3. Tor

    I’ve been running by myself almost since Day 1. I started running with a buddy but she left me somewhere along the way. It gets lonely and boring sometimes. But I always keep the goal in mind like finishing my first half-marathon, then moving to a 32K (they have one here!), then a full marathon then an ultra. i was telling myself if i fail to train, i fail the whole race entirely. i think that helped me go through it.

    try signing up for a race, i guess you’ll be forced to train. hope you get back into the groove soon, carla!

    • If you’re anywhere near me, we can always make a plan to run together (but my feeling is I’ll be a LOT slower than you!). It’s so much nicer chatting with people, and even when you can’t chat, just knowing someone else is there enduring the pain.

  4. I hate this for you. I imagine it would be difficult to be so used to doing things one way and suddenly have to shift your mindset to run solo. So I have actually only ever run by myself. I am not even sure how to run and chat at the same time (I imagine I would need to go a lot slower). But the thing that motivates me when all else fails is a solid playlist. I buy music that literally has me tapping my toes and itching to get out the door.

    Other than that I use running as ‘me time.’ I get to process whatever is going on in my life and start fresh when the run is over.

    I hope this gets better for you, I really do.

    • At first I couldn’t run and chat, and then all of a sudden, one day you just do it. Amazingly, you don’t always have to go slower, though you definitely can’t sprint and chat!

      Shoot me an email if you don’t mind with a few song ideas! My playlist has a few newer things, but a lot of it is just old music that doesn’t get me going.

      And when you’re not working like I am now, I get enough me time 😦

  5. I went through a period like this just a few months ago. Like you, Hubby and I relocated for his gov’t job from Alaska to coastal northern California in October. Different places in every way. You’re just pulling out of the Honeymoon Period of excitement of living in a new place. Take your iPod with you and try to catch a new route every day. You’ve got a new city to explore, maybe making it more of an exciting adventure than a boring workout will breathe some fun into it. Moving is hard, things get better after a little while 🙂 Hang in there!

    • There’s not much running places here — lots of sidewalks, lots of street crossings (with heavy heavy traffic to weave through), and not ever place even has sidewalks, which makes it harder! But I keep thinking of exploring while running, I just need to DO it. So much easier when you have a friend tagging along!

  6. I almost always run by myself but that’s b/c I often work some long hours and it can be hard to find people who are A. in the same part of town and B. who are on the same schedule.

    I like the time to zone out but I can imagine that if I was alone most of the day, that aspect wouldn’t be as appealing. When I’m not training for something specific, the motivation to still fit in my clothes works wonders…that and I just get antsy to MOVE. I like the idea with the intention of “going for a walk”…much less intimidating and most of the time when I tell myself I am going to do that I end up running quite a bit anyway!

    • I definitely have to try the going for a walk thing — because even if it just turns out to be a walk, at least it’s something, right?

      I have a really hard time zoning out when I’m running on my own, which is why I like running with people — it gets me distracted!

  7. Claire

    Hi Carla,

    I have been reading for quite awhile now but haven’t posted yet. Waving hello. I almost alway run by myself. I started running that way though so I actually find it easier to run by myself than with other people. I find myself introspective when I am running rather than wanting to outwardly chat, even though I am not a hugely introspective person. I would definitely recommend grabbing some kick ass tunes new ones always make me want to get out there and run. Then lay out your clothes before you are scheduled to go, set yourself a day and time so it is on your calender and go. It will take time to become a habit but you will get there. Then hopefully when you find your new running buddies you will be running-tastic too.

    • Right now I’ve been putting on my running clothes first thing in the morning, and I still don’t get myself out there! I need to find new tunes though! Because I never run by myself, I also never run with music, so the stuff I have is really outdated, save for twenty or so songs that are current…

      I really should post something asking for song ideas 🙂

  8. Claire

    You definitely need some new tunes. If you give us a hint on what you kind of like maybe we can recommend some for you?

  9. Pingback: Music to get me running! | I Run, You Run

  10. I have noticed lately that I only want to run with friends/the group and not by myself. And I used to only run by myself! I am not sure how I did it. I am bummed there is no running club there and you haven’t met any runner friends yet.

    • I don’t know how people do it either. I push a myself a lot more with people too, because I don’t want to be stuck running alone, so even when I feel like crap, I tough it out as much as possible not to lose the company (and most times, it works!)

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