Now if I can just believe in this myself…

After posting my last post about signing up for a 10k even though lately that actually seems like a big number (Carla circa 2010 is in tears right now), Jen, who ran my last 20 miler training run with me wrote on my Facebook page…

“…I know you can do it! I know because I logged 23 training miles with you and saw you finish the MCM strong, with barely a week of recovery from the brutal inferno that was the Chicago marathon. You, I believe, have the spirit of a warrior and you truly do finish what you set your mind to finish…”

Well, it seems like I need to have faith in myself for a change.  Nowadays, we all know I’m far from having the spirit of a warrior and I have instead the spirit of a wimp.  Maybe I can print out what she wrote on the back of someone’s shirt and make them run just a bit in front of me so I can keep reading it throughout the 10k whenever I feel like giving up?

Tracy also had words of wisdom for me…

“You can do it. It might not be pretty, but you can do it (and however long it takes you, I promise I’ve done worse!).”

It’s funny, because my fear of running a 10k right now it’s not of failing and not crossing the finish line.  Heck, if I had to run a half marathon tomorrow I know I’d cross that finish line (it would just take me a long time to get there, and I might develop a new injury to boot). 

My biggest fear?  Is to get a personal worst.  As it stands, my personal worst was on my very first 10k in 2008– when I had never done more than a 5k, and didn’t properly train for it (blame it on a wonderful vacation for a friends wedding in Greece).  The time?  1:18:42, or a 12:40 pace.  Ugly and miserable, but back then it was a BIG accomplishment, because I never even stopped to walk.

But the weather then wasn’t hot and muggy, and though my training was lacking, my fitness was good – I used to commute by bike to work logging 10.5 miles each way, at least 4 times a week.  Nowadays, I’m far from that. 

But then I stop and think about it and if getting a PW really the worst that it can happen to me, what’s the big deal?  At the end of the day, it’s just numbers.  And if I don’t go for that PW, I’ll never be in shape again to attempt a new PR.

Let’s hope sometime in the next two weeks, I can find that warrior spirit within me again…


Filed under 10k, Race

9 responses to “Now if I can just believe in this myself…

  1. Scott


    Love your blogs – about the Philippines – can you post your trip report to Cebu with what the prices where for the dives and resorts – Many thanks

  2. You can get back to where you were, it will just take time. Don’t try so hard that you injure yourself though. It’s all about baby steps and once you get used to the heat, when you come back to DC to run and run in the summer, you will ROCK it (while everyone else is panting)! 🙂

  3. You can do it. It is scary to start over with former PRs hanging over your head, but it really is the only way to get back to where you used to be. Maybe find a fun costume and just enjoy being out there with other runners rather than worrying about performance? 🙂

  4. 10ks are always hard, even trained. The difference is mentally knowing you can go the distance, and you can. You’re still 2010 Carla, you just took a little break. Email me your mailing addie please.

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