Tag Archives: Running

Adding the “Running” back into this blog! (And into my life!)

For real.  In an attempt to not be completely out of running shape once I get back to DC and in marathon training mode, I decided to start running again this week, after getting the “all clear” from my doctor.

On Wednesday, I jumped on my treadmill, on what will likely be a goodbye run:  looks like it’s getting sold this week.  It has served me well, even if I barely got any use out of it, thanks for injuries and all my pregnancy fatigue.  I should be buying a replacement before heading back to Brazil, unless we’re living close to the beach, then running on the boardwalk will be much more my style!

I’m not going to lie:  the run was not pretty.  I kept the running part at a 11 min/mile pace, and still had to take walk breaks pretty frequently.  At the end, I finished 2.5 miles averaging 12:57 pace, which it’s not *that* bad considering there were lots of walking sprinkled in there.

Friday morning, I met up with a friend who is also trying to get back to running after baby.  I met her by her house in Dasmarinas Village and we went for a jog (for those of you unfamiliar with Manila, the villages are closed residential areas with single family homes, so lots quiet streets for running, less polluted, little cars, no traffic and even a lot of shade!).

I was nervous, I can’t even remember the last time I ran outside!  But when she asked if I wanted to do the 3k route or the 5k one, I said “5k” without hesitation.  Did I have to walk?  Sure, I did.  I actually thought walking was a good think (let’s not do too much too soon and get injured, right?), but we went way past the halfway point before any of us walked.

Since I forgot my GPS at home, I’m oblivious to our pace, which may be for the best!

Sadly, I’m so out of running shape that I’ve been pretty sore the last couple of days.  I’ll be back out on Tuesday for yet another running date! 

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Filed under Marathon Training, Runs

STUPID Fear

Lately, I’ve been fearing something that is hard to admit, but heck, might as well get it out there.

For the last couple of months (more?) I’ve been afraid of running.

Yes, running.

I can’t even explain why.  Afraid of something hurting?  For sure.  But mostly, afraid of failing.

It’s hard to look back at who I was not much longer than a year ago, when I would do 10 miles for fun, and I actually enjoyed my 20 milers back when I was training for the Chicago Marathon.  Sure, they were tough, but they were pleasant.  And now?  I know I can’t even run 3 miles without taking a break – and even then, I will be a lot slower than before.  And before?  I was already a slow runner, so it’s not like I ever thought I could get any worse.

So you read me babbling about lifting weights at the gym, or muay thai, and all this time, no peep about running.  And now you know why.  I’m afraid I can’t run anymore.  Not that my body is incapable – no, that’s not it – it’s all in my head.  It will be hard and I will hate it, and I will give up.

The worst part of it?  I actually MISS running.  I miss it dearly.  I daydream about it, I think about it every.single.day.  I just don’t actually, you know, RUN. 

Running in Manila still doesn’t excite me.  I don’t want to deal with the traffic noise, the pollution, the crowded sidewalks, crossing streets where pedestrians don’t have the right of way even when the pedestrian light is on, dealing with badly maintained sidewalks, just waiting for the next sprained ankle, dealing with running alone.  So when I run here, I usually take the treadmill, because it’s easier, more convenient, and I don’t have outside factors making it unpleasant.  But I never enjoyed the treadmill, so then, I just don’t run at all.

At the end of last year, I even trained for a 10k (a big deal around these parts lately), and then when that got canceled, I just pretty much lost my motivation.  All of it.  Dealing with foot and now hip pain no long after didn’t help, and sunk me into a deeper hole.

But yesterday?  I went to the gym to do my hour of lifting weights, got back home and jumped on the treadmill.  My goal was for a mile (because small goals are all I can handle now), and I got tired quick, had to walk before the mile was even over (but I knew that was coming) but it didn’t hurt anywhere.  I hopped out after a mile and a half, having done some walking in the midst, but mostly running.  Who knew I could still put my foot in front of the other?  My endurance is still not there, and I might not get it back until I’m back in DC running with the best running buddies DC has to offer, but I can get back there, even if my time in Manila is meant to be spent on 3 milers only.

I’m still afraid.  I’m afraid it’s going to be hard, that it will never get easy again (was it ever easy?).  But now I’m hoping that each time after weightlifting I can hop on the treadmill, even if only a mile, because I have to start somewhere, but I won’t get anywhere if I don’t at least TRY.

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Filed under Runs